Page 20. Goodbye.
Happy Independence Day, fellow Americans. Enjoy yourself responsibly, and if you overexert yourself and start spitting up blood, please go to the hospital.
O Human Star
by Blue Delliquanti
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Page 20. Goodbye.
Happy Independence Day, fellow Americans. Enjoy yourself responsibly, and if you overexert yourself and start spitting up blood, please go to the hospital.
“Real men” also brush off the idea of coughing up blood as a mere flesh wound, apparently.
Oh, no! We are at the point of the beginning…and it’s even more sad and disturbing to read as we’ve become attached to the characters…. And worse? This could have been prevented if Al was more open about it. I bet that overexertion from flipping the table didn’t help at all.
Wondering if this means we’ll soon stop seeing flashbacks or if we’ll continue to see them from a grieving Brendan’s point of view.
I really hope we;ll see Brendan grieving, because I want to know exactly how it effected hi, and how he copes and how he moves on…not to mention how Sulla was “born” and stuff
I hope we can soon learn of Al’s backstory that’s made him so secretive and ashamed of his sexuality. It’s really driving him insane
I’m sure part of it also has to do with the gender identity issue presented by Sulla. If that sort of confusion wasn’t enough to drive a man insane, top it all off with this ridiculous machismo he’s been instilled with and you’ve got a real powderkeg. (Now that machismo is what I’d like to see the origins of. It’s pretty fierce.)
“And now I’ll just walk this off…”
That’s tragically silly. And utter believable: An oh-so-manly man to full of testosteron to go to the doctor.
A far-of- neighbor died when he denied any pampering for himself just because a little red line was creeping up his arm. Well, the blood poisoning didn’t give a damm for his stubborness!
Such determination. I wonder what he’s made up his mind to do.
“Typical man.”
Really, guys? This is a personality thing. Women with the same disposition as Al do this, too.
I mean this doesn’t necessarily have to be profiling.
Al clearly hides his emotions and pain cause he’s internalized some ideas that make him terrified of being unmanly or weak, which leads him to be distant and conflicted. A lot of people associate Al with men of a similar demeanor in their own lives.
Fact is, people relate this sort of stubborn, self-defeating behavior with masculinity cause it’s either endemic, or very well recognized.
Obviously there are a lot women with similar dispositions as Al here, who would similarly try to hide their sickness to avoid looking vulnerable… but in that hypothetical person’s case, I would imagine the reasons for being the way they are might be a little different from Al’s? Correct me if I am wrong.
Indeed. Al’s fear of being weak stems from a sort of toxic idea of masculinity. The root cause is a problem that wouldn’t be so . . . horrible toxic to him if he hadn’t been raised to find appearing ‘strong’ and ‘untouchable’ and ‘male’ with such importance.
I know that these are issues within himself.
But something to consider is that this is a trait that a lot of abused or deeply troubled people carry. They push things to the limit and try to act strong in the face of others. They try and act like they can handle anything. It’s not a male problem. People in general can suffer from this, particularly people that are fed that they should handle things on their own and not seek outside help at all if necessary. I know a lot of women, including myself, that do this.
Again… not a male problem. This is being associated to problems with masculinity simply because he’s a man. Now, I mean, in the story is this the cause for him? Yes. But it’s also his personality. People that struggle with accepting help, acknowledging their weaknesses, being at peace with themselves, etc, act like this. I know it all too well.
It can be a problem for stoics, particularly. Not to say that all stoics are people dealing with severe social/emotional/mental problems… but they’re not the sort to seek out help or show that they need it… and Al is very much a stoic.
Oh my god, the middle panel.
“Did someone hit you (…) ?”
Yes… of sorts…
Not everyone handles their own emotions the same way, and there is nothing wrong with that. Brendan is no shining example of emotional stability either, in the past or the future.
Not everyone is compatible with everyone else, ‘toxic’ anything really has nothing to do with it, it’s called having a personality. Al needs someone more like himself who has perhaps lived through some of the same trials, ditto for Brendan.
Being that Brendan got Al’s company, money, and basically [Blue’s edit: NOPE] his near-dead boyfriend (without Al’s consent) to get a kid which he would probably have rejected (for the same reason’s he rejected Al) if it HAD been more like Al, I’m not exactly feeling sorry for Brendan or seeing how Al’s choices were so terrible in comparison.
Brendan seems to do a lot of things he really puts no deep thought into considering the outcomes of before he charges ahead. ‘O Human Star’ is the playing out of the consequences of Brendan not dealing with his grief or being able to let go of his dead ex boyfriend.
I agree. This is a personality thing mostly.
Yeah, Al was fed toxitity when he was young… but the thing is, is that the person he is latched onto it. People respond differently to what he went through based on their personalities. No experience is the exact same for anyone.
Al’s a person that values self-image and trying to appear at his best. It’s something I definitely identify with as a cis-woman. I don’t like going to others for help if I can avoid it, either. It’s not a good thing to admit, but I can honestly see myself in his shoes right now because I know what it’s like to be too prideful to ask for someone else’s help, or to act like you can do everything alone… even face severe medical problems, which I’ve done.
Jarvis, I hope in future you’ll ask for help when needing it. It can take strength to ask for help, it’s not a weakness, there’s times when everyone needs some support. Don’t do an Al.
Yeah, I tell myself that all the time. Saying it to yourself and thinking about how you’ll ask or tell people is a lot easier than doing it.
I agree with you and I think it’s a complex idea…toxic masculinity doesn’t mean all men are inherently toxic, or that masculinity is inherently toxic. It’s a pervasive cultural idea that men have to deal with their problems in certain ways, such as closing people out, shouldering the burden alone, or even violence at the expense of your loved ones. We see countless examples in our media (fact and fiction) today of ‘manly’ characters acting in ways towards others that in the real world would be rightfully called abusive. And this is not to say that men are inherently abusive; it’s just a pervasive cultural script that too often lazy writers fall back on (not you, Blue!), and it’s all part of the complex system of gender roles we have in our society. And Brendan is guilty of this too; by defining a ‘real man’ as someone who meets his needs, no matter how much he has the right to ask Al to meet them, he’s turning it into an assessment of Al’s masculinity, which Al responds to by equating masculinity with violence and destruction. Toxic masculinity doesn’t mean Al is inherently a toxic person, it means that he uses ‘manliness’ (at least in his head) to justify his shitty behavior and not deal with his feelings. I agree that he’s latched onto it because of his personality as something he can defend himself with; the unconscious (or conscious) drive within a person to self-destruct, at least through non-action, is a highly personalized thing, as is the drive to justify or rationalize one’s self destruction. The idea of masculinity that masc-identified people hold is very subject to their own experiences and personality, though reinforced by cultural ideas of what being a ‘real man’ is supposed to be. As someone who was raised in male society and assumed to be male for a very long time, I’ve had to think a lot with my own ideas of what ‘masculinity’ is, and how certain things in my mind are or were tied to ideas of masculinity completely arbitrarily, like my lexicon and speech patterns, or my tendency to fight when confronted with threats, which I used to think made me a contradiction but now realize that they have nothing to do with being masculine; it’s just part of who I am and I can be feminine identified and still talk like I do and defend myself. Fuck all gender roles, be yourself, no matter if anyone thinks you’re not who they think you should be. Fuck those people.
(first and probably last time posting, love this comic, keep up the good work!)
I edited the OP this was a reply to because it used the word “rape” to describe something which was not a literal rape, and I can’t stand that kind of thing. To all commenters: don’t do that. Jarvis, you’re fine.
It’s funny how you keep ignoring the indisputable mistake that Al made, which relationship problems aside, also finally got Brendan to explode: Not acknowledging his role as a business partner.
Al’s reputation and skill was already almost legendary in their world, or at least that’s how Brendan saw it. Al’s hermit tendencies (due to his past and fears), not to mention his gruff and abrasive demeanor kept many from getting to work with him though, aside from Brendan, who saw through that, and liked what he saw.
Brendan helped Al get to an even higher level of notoriety and they both worked hard to get their names’ out there, but aside from being unable to acknowledge Brendan as a lover due to his own insecurities/homophobia/fears, he willingly chose to allow the people they were being paid by and others in the military sphere to see Brendan as nothing more than an assistant, all because he was more openly gay.
Brendan said hurtful assholish things to someone who obviously has major mental and emotional (and unbeknownst to either, health) problems, so fuck him for that.
But Al? Chose to turn his back and publicly deny his Business partner’s worth and input. So fuck Him for that.
I think Al’s made more than one mistake re: Brendan, but other than that very minor thing, this reply is gold. Strongly agree.
I thought the point was that Sulla was very similar in most ways to Al. Something that Brendan acknowledges, Al notices, and refutes your point. I don’t think Brendan ever would have rejected his daughter, and we’ve seen no evidence of him being anything but a very loving, giving, and even slightly over-protective father.
Brendan’s issues with Al’s trauma comping mechanisms aside, I think even if Sulla exhibited those same qualities of refusing to discuss or engage or share or support, he would still not reject her, because their relationship is inherently different. He has a duty of care and he loves her like a daughter. I don’t think he’d ever attempt to end their relationship…
(Of course, given today’s (10-7-16) panels, it looks like he didn’t even want to end his relationship with Al. He just did an overnight flounce to chill out and consider if breaking up was worth it. It seems like it’s not, not until the meeting is over, but I understand that’s using future comics to relate to this and may be editted out to preserve spoilers, which is cool.)
What I really appreciate in seeing this work in progress . . . you can’t just flip through the pages and not THINK about what you are reading. Blue, Thank You very much.
Al’s own body is poisoning him. I’m not sure if it’s a really elegant metaphor for when you’ve been overcompensating at “being a man” your whole life in order to ignore your gender dysphoria until your body finds a way to protest, or if that’s just what is literally happening. How much could his state of mind exacerbate the autoimmune disease you think?