Page 57. Beyond.
I’m tentatively scheduling a livestream for this Wednesday, 8/21, at 8 pm CST. See you there!
O Human Star
by Blue Delliquanti
MORE OF BLUE’S STUFF
Page 57. Beyond.
I’m tentatively scheduling a livestream for this Wednesday, 8/21, at 8 pm CST. See you there!
Hmm! This is an interesting turn of events, but I’m not completely sure I’m interpreting it right.
Is Al talking about their limitations as in… now that they’re a robot, they have a different self-concept? Or as in their internalized conception of gender or selfhood in general *as a human being*? Or both?
In other words, is Al saying they’re no longer burdened by an organic mind, or by their restrictive, dysphoric self-concept?
I think the answer to your question is: Yes
I *think* it’s a mix of both, i.e. that because Al is no longer burdened by an organic mind, the burden of restrictive, dysphoric self-concepts is also lessened (if not outright removed). :)
I dunno, an organic mind suddenly finding itself in an inorganic body might cause a hell of a dysphoria.
Hmmmmmm. I’m a little confused, but a bit delighted.
Like them or not, your memories are you, they make you who you are. Pull one free… like a loose thread, you may find why pulling a loose strand on a sweater is NOT a good idea. Memory is not structured like separate data files in a digital computer stacked in a simple tree hierarchy, it is incredibly interwoven and interdependent, that is how it works.
Everyone has to learn how to deal with their own mental baggage, scio te ipsum, but not by jettisoning it or you literally destroy yourself in the process, something like ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ or the character Cypher being unable to deal with reality in ‘The Matrix’ and choosing ignorant bliss over understanding.
I hope Al asks first. Something like “Sulla, I want to help you be more fully *you*, and less … me.”
Sounds promising, though.
This is unrelated to the current page but today I realised just how cute Sulla is. She wanted to give Al the best she had and thought to herself … I’m gonna make him be able to fly!
Huh, I just realized that the only time Al flew was to accelerate his fall, and that is a metaphor related to how Sulla’s flight is tied to her freedom from gender dysphoria. I’m not quite sure how to unpack what this means, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out with future rereads.
Nevertheless, it is indeed absolutely adorable.
daaaammn tsade thats a great compliment
Fascinating. This comic is one that really keeps me guessing.
There’s a lot of dialogue here. The more I focus on it, the more confused I get… but I think it’ll make more sense in overall context eventually.
Does Sulla really have Al’s memories?? That’s… terrifying. Oh God. Also, that’s a beautiful panel with Al’s hand and the knife…
Tsade is right. I think Brendan’s been trying to tell Al that, too, for a long time… but sometimes you need to hear it from someone else.
We’ve heard Al use the term “smart” before. “Act smart.” It’s the advice given to Sulla back in the library and the advice Al’s uncle gave after Al was sent to live with them. Act smart, pretend to be normal. Hide whatever makes you different. Al’s grown though. Trying to act smart was a snare holding Al back, but now it’s proven to be false and Al can see the important things in life; the connections with others.
I don’t think Al is considering actually messing around with Sulla’s memories. Honestly, Al saying “I’m not asking for you to do anything,” makes that clear enough to me. The specifics are slightly different, but I believe that the core motivation is simply a parent wanting to ensure that their kid isn’t bound by the same demons that bound them.
I dunno, he might be talking about poking around in there and removing the residue that led to her having dreams about Al, like the time she took him aside and asked if anyone hit him before since she dreamed about him bleeding. She doesn’t have a lot of Al’s memories, but she seems to have some of them buried in her subconscious, and removing those without damaging her personality would be difficult and risky if it’s even possible, so it makes sense for Al to ask
Tsade’s reaction to Al kind of reminds me of Glinda from the end of the Wizard of Oz telling Dorothy she had the power to return to Kansas any time she wanted to.
Whoa… the multitool has blue, red, *and* green in it. It’s been such an intimate part of Al’s, Brendan’s, and Sulla’s stories, and it shows.
ok so ive been out of touch with this comic since 2015 and after binge reading them all to this point has me me so entirely satisfied and happy beyond belief. there is so much growth in this chapter and i am back on reading every release day!
“your only limitations are the ones you refuse to step beyond” is quite thematic. i think
@ second to last panel is this what being a parent is :’)
“I don’t want my child to be burdened by my demons. How can I keep from passing on my trauma to her?” I just really love how the ramifications of artificial intelligence and synthetic beings keep leading back to different perspectives on how we build and shape each other as humans.
The best speculative fiction is that which helps us find our own humanity.