Page 56. Real talk.
Today I’m going to remind folks about my Patreon, where I post bonus art and sketchbook PDFs every month. I’m coming up on a new milestone goal pretty soon!
Also, my adult readers who are familiar with my story in Smut Peddler 2014 might be interested to know that I will be revisiting those characters in another comic anthology that is being Kickstarted right now. (Fair warning, NSFW links ahead.)
Next week I’ll be talking about my May convention schedule! Woohoo!
I like the progression of the characters. Makes for a pretty great read. Admittedly, these updates make my whole Monday, particularly today when I really needed it. Thanks, Blue.
Dang it, Zodiac! Will there ever be a day where I get to read the update before you!?
I would not put my money on it! But anyway, it was a pretty great update. I like the addition of Sulla’s little hair twisty thing. I noticed before she mentioned that she picks at thing, I guess her hair is one of those things. I was also interested in how Titus handled Sulla’s question. Sulla needs a friend like that who can understand what she’s going through. That look Sulla gave in the last panel was sad in a way too. Great detailing!
Did you notice that Titus does the little scarf twist thing also? Also, I think Titus handled the question beautifully. Twinny, this will be quite the conversation we have when we get home today XD
Okay, Titus is my new favorite character. This person is the most realistic one out of everyone here, and not just by the way Titus acts but the look that goes along. Its for both of those reasons that I applaud both character and creator.
Oh my god, Tytus, I love you for choosing the path of least drama in the face of a complex gender identity.
Choosing “the path of least drama” isn’t something to be necessarily applauded.
As a survival tactic, it can sometimes be necessary. As a choice, it’s a valid one, and one that a lot of trans people make.
But it’s a very hard choice. It’s not as simple as “wanting less drama”. It’s cutting yourself off — knowing the people you’re closest to don’t, and can’t, see who you really are. Look at Titus’s body language in that panel — they’re twisting at their scarf, their shoulders are tense. They’re nervous. They’re upset. Look at the words they use — “can’t expect to”, “see me as I want them to”.
Letting your friends misperceive your identity for fear they’ll reject or invalidate you if you try to be honest with them is a horrible situation to be in. It’s not the “path of least drama” by a long shot. I say this as a nonbinary trans person who’s been in Titus’s situation, and is wholeheartedly glad to be in an environment now where I can safely insist on and be vocal about my pronouns and gender.
GENDERFLUID
or Genderqueer??
EITHER WAY nonbinary character! Whoo! Now I am incredibly excited about getting to know Titus more. Seriously, they are super relatable and I’m really loving the way they are being written.
Poor Sulla, though, it wasn’t meant to be a blow but it sure feels like it.
I was wondering the same, too. Perhaps the thing that matters most is Ty/Titus isn’t being completely forthcoming with those closest to them.
Forthcoming? It’s not like they’re passing. They’re just letting their friends draw their own conclusions.
All the feels for Titus right now >_<
I am agender, but have only started being out socially in the past year (and I'm almost 30). And I have always kept it at the forefront of my mind that the change can be difficult for people who've known me one way for decades. So I find myself navigating a number of different social contexts in which my gender is known or not, my pronouns and name are different, my level of comfort is different, etc. There are circles who know my identity and respect it, those that know it and don't respect it (people I must interact with for various reasons), those that don't know, those that know but still use my old name and pronouns but I'm actually ok with it because we are so close and I know they understand me as a person.
As difficult/odd as it can be for me to be constantly switching between these groups, the idea of introducing people from these different groups to each other is just boggling. I do wish for a more cohesive life, but I'm not sure how to achieve it.
I've also been on the other side of things, feeling incredibly awkward every time I witness someone misgender a friend, or having a casual conversation about a mutual friend where I'm using one name and pronoun and the other person is using different ones. So feels for Sulla too.
I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but thank you, Blue, for telling our stories with such care. I love this comic so much.
I get the feeling Titus isn’t as comfortable with people calling her a boy as most of us think. She obviously favors she/her and the name Titus, and I get the feeling she’s having is the same deep seeded anxiety over coming out as I had/have. I could also be reading this wrong bc trans girl bias and she could be demigirl or genderqueer or non binary, but I still believe she favors being a girl or some variation there of.
I’d put any discomfort more in the realm of “if I push too hard then I’ll get pushback”, personally. Because as ey explains here, ey are both, and so on a purely technical basis the people using “she” aren’t completely incorrect. So it’s “easy” to just let them carry on instead of fighting, because Titus has the “consolation” that they’re getting it a little right. But it still doesn’t acknowledge the full reality of Titus’ identity and likely grates to some extent, otherwise why would ey take the opportunity tell Sula the full story (and the name Titus, which is more masculine than the androgynous “Ty”). Ey knows that Sula will encounter this different perception from eir other friends, and that will likely lead to some sort of discussion about eir identity, and all that could be avoided if ey didn’t make a point of being Titus. But ey didn’t, because ey wants someone to see em fully.
Just my take on things.
I don’t know why, but I love your use of the pronoun ‘ey’.
Perhaps it’s because English is not my mother tongue that I find it so interesting and appealing.
On the other hand, Spanish is a really gender-ized language. For example, most of the adjectives are either feminine or masculine, and when speaking to a group with a “guys”, you have to choose between ‘chicos’ (m) or ‘chicas’ (f). ‘Chicos’ is used both for groups with different sexes and only male groups, while ‘chicas’ is only for female groups. Some people find this use sexist and try and use “chicxs” or “chic@s”, but to me that’s a bit excessive, and confusing.
Then again, when talking about non-binary people, I think it’s extra difficult to know how to express properly and not hurt anybody’s feelings.
I like ey/em/eir as neutral pronouns in general and for myself as a non-binary person. The fact that they’re derived from they/them/their seem to make them easier to grasp and use while still being relatively distinct. They’re not widely used however, though I do try to use them whenever it seems appropriate. English is bad enough when it comes to gender; I find the languages that gender even more words to be… uncool lol. And yeah, I’d have to agree that it is sexist to choose a male pronoun as the default to describe a mixed group of people, but as you say the fix for it isn’t easy. I think any non-binary person who is relatively mature would appreciate sincere attempts to be respectful, and using neutral pronouns is probably a good place to start until informed otherwise.
Ah, labels… today’s El Goonish Shive seems very relevant.
http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=2046
It starts with “Labels encourage assumptions and stuff, and they’re annoying, and you are who you are regardless” and gets better from there.
Your comic is so incredible. I’ve said it before, but you’re doing things with characters I’ve never seen in other comics, especially not web ones. I just had this moment where I wanted to up my monthly Patreon contribution because of how awesome this page is, but then I remembered I’m broke, so I won’t. For now. :)
YES. I’m so happy at Titus’ answer. Well, the last panel is a little sad (but realistic), but I’m loving this conversation and I just love their (his/her?) wording and explanation.
Also, Sulla twisting her hair is an adorable mannerism. Your attention to detail, Blue… ! It really brings so much to an already otherwise great story and art.
Oh wow. All the tangled emotion of being in the closet laid out in words. Wish I could’ve said that years ago.
Hmmmm.. So is Ty/Titus saying they are (only) in the closet about being trans or that they are genderfluid? Because the way they explain it sounds like the last.
Okay, so, I debated a lot before posting this because it seems to be an unpopular opinion, but I feel kinda uncomfortable with the presentation of trans people in this comic. Passing shouldn’t be presented as the ideal. There are plenty of people for whom being trans is an important part of their identity. As in, they want people to know and accept them as a TRANS girl/boy/genderqueer person, not just a girl/boy/genderqueer person. As a genderqueer person who goes by her birth name and pronouns, maybe this is hypocritical of me, but I worry that this reads to cis people as, “Trans people won’t expect you to learn or use their correct names and pronouns (and if they do, they’re being unreasonable.)”
I only say this because I’m a huge fan of O Human Star and I want it to be the best it can be.
I’m not bothered by Titus trying to pass because I’m not convinced that’s what they’re doing. From the dialogue, I’m reading that they’re just trying to be considerate to what they’re friends’ may be able to understand, so it’s a personal choice and not something that should be extrapolated to all gender queer people. From context I think there may also be a bit of teenage social anxiety going on in that everyone just wants to fit in and Titus doesn’t strike me as the sort of person to make a splash.
There’s an interesting parallel with Sulla, who is also trying to fit in but in different ways. She’s already come out as female and transitioned about as well as she can. For the most part that’s done so she is female, no passing required. But she is still trying to pass as human which may bring up all sorts of conversations later between her and Titus. I can’t speak from experience, but I think the parallels between transgender and gender queer people in the real world and realistic robots in this future are striking. I feel like in this future, maybe being trans isn’t quite the big social shock it is today so maybe simply being human has replaced it.
This probably doesn’t make much sense, but I think my point is that this is a very personal story and I don’t think anyone will take away that this is the way you treat every gender queer person. Also a disclaimer; I’m cis female and very tired so I apologize profusely if I have offended anyone.
I think Blue mentioned before in the author’s comments (when Sulla and Al are in the synthetic bar) that passing isn’t an ideal, but something that SULLA worries about. It seems Ty isn’t as worried about that, or at least not in the same way. Ty’s thoughts here seem very real to me, because I’ve had them too. Although personally I am more towards the “see me as a genderqueer person and don’t just use female pronouns for me just because I like skirts and am dfab” line of thought these days.
Basically, I really like the representation because the transgender/non-binary characters get to be *people*, the same way the cisgender characters get to be that. And it seems that Sulla and Ty see things differently, which is a good thing, since trans and non-binary people definitely see things different from each other in real life as well. Ty and Sulla both have their own issues with their gender and how people see them, which is how it should be.
Judging from what I’ve seen so far, I think Blue will do a pretty good job on the representation part. In fact, I just read this page, pulled my partner’s sleeve, and went “Look, there’s someone like me in one of my favourite comics!”. So, Blue? Thanks <3
This page brought me to tears. This is exactly how I feel and how I live. It’s so hard to find someone who understands so seeing someone like me in an actual comic that actual people read means so much to me.
I hope that when the time this comic is set in actually rolls around, this won’t be so hard for people. <3
It’s… a little better. Than it was.
Ugh as a genderqueer person I have all of these feels. Trying to push back against people who’ve known you your whole life is a Sysyphean task. Sometimes it’s easier not to try.
I tweeted about this a moment ago, but I too want to leave a comment on this excellent page… gosh, I relate to Sulla and T. so much
I’m an AFAB non-binary genderqueer/genderpunk person- it was only during the latter part of 2015 that I was able to see that and re-evaluating my gender and who I am.
I have old friends that know me as a “girl” and get lumped into that category all the time with most people- for the former, I’ve slowly begun to come out as non-binary and for the latter… most times I don’t care, but dysphoria tends to sneak up on me and hurt me real GOOD sometimes, SIGH.
Anyway, thank you Blue
I hate to say this, but this is the only comic I’ve seen so far that has two realistic and different trans folks talking together about how they pass (plus other sundry) and how they approach things/want to be seen
I am very, very grateful.
Thank you So Much!
That’s a good attitude to have.
Yeah, correcting people who aren’t wrong is awful.
Why do you think I’d rather be quietly mistaken as cisgender than open my mouth and probably end up mistaken as transgender?
Dang, but it’s good to remember how lucky I am. Since I came out, aside from some irrelevant Internet people, I’ve met nothing but support. Even my 92 year old grandma who can never remember my new name and cheerfully acknowledges she doesn’t understand what gender transitioning is completely accepts that I’m in charge or who and what I am and tries to encourage me to live more out loud.
The fear of not knowing if your friends are for real, though. . .