Page 10. Angry.
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O Human Star
by Blue Delliquanti
MORE OF BLUE’S STUFF
Page 10. Angry.
I’m doing a livestream tonight at 8:30 pm CST! Join me at my Picarto channel and watch me ink some pages from my next graphic novel.
augh, and the person, or at least the copy of the person who trained brendan to shut people out, is standing right there…
Sorry, your utterly wrong. People shut others out because of their own personal pain and experiences. Meaning, Brendan did it for his own reasons, not because Al “taught” him to.
Mmm. I respectfully disagree with that this time. Al seems to have taught Brendan that “the way to deal with this for me please” is to keep the situation and story shut up. Brendan was/is more outgoing than that, but he seems to have respected Als wishes and not made things more open.
And as the secret Brendan is currently keeping isn’t the girl Brendan thought was his Boyfriends ghost, but appears to be the transition of our Al this time…. Again it’s been Als fault that Brendan has kept mum about the whole thing.
So yeah. We do learn skills and ways of dealing with pain and confusion, from our friends and relatives. I see this as a situation in which Al is the reason Brendan has shut her out. Just my opinion, but it seems pretty obvious to me.
Sulla was the very first fully independent artificial lifeform that developed itself from scratch. Of COURSE Brendan kept quiet about her. He was scared someone would try to take her. Or worse.
Brendan trusts Lucille. But other people would have found out about Sulla. He would be terrified. Who wouldn’t be?
The thing is, this time, it’s *really* not Brendan’s to tell. I think if all of this stuff *were* just for Sulla’s upgrade, Brendan would’ve told Lucille, or let Sulla tell her. But if we’re right in thinking that it’s for Al (too? instead?), then it’s absolutely not Brendan’s place to out Al to Lucille. Sure, it’d be great if Brendan would *say that* to Lucille (“Sorry I can’t tell you what it’s for right now”), rather than leaving her completely in the dark and treating her like just another supplier, but I reeealllly don’t fault Brendan for keeping schtum this time (nor do I fault Lucille for feeling hurt at being so shut out).
Well, to be fair? Al was deceased through most of this situation so Brendan really has no one to blame, but himself. Hopefully, though, Al shares with Lucille an olive branch and opens up to her. Wouldn’t it be beautiful if the four of them become a family?
(Just my opinion down below.)
I feel like Brendan did have a right to keep Sulla from Lucille. *While she is Al’s child more than anyones, shes still Brendan’s daughter, not Lucille’s. It seemed like Brendan was trying to pull out all the stops to make sure Sulla didn’t turn out like Al and that included keeping her away from a person/people Al didn’t get along with in life.
*To me, Lucille was more of the doctor helping Sulla transition from robot to human and then male to female. Responsible for physical changes, but not her actual traits/DNA. Al and Brendan (technically) made Sulla on their own.
I don’t know that I would even agree Sulla is Al’s daughter. Genetically speaking, that’s the best metaphor we have, but I would argue a child who is adopted at birth and never knew their genetic parents is more their adoptive parents’ child than anyone’s. In my opinion, Sulla is Brandon’s daughter right now, 100%. Al’s return will likely turn into a parental relationship, but I think we’re only seeing the beginning of that right now.
It seems like Al is the birth parent, Brendon is adoptive, and Lucille is the doctor/plastic surgeon.
Al is responsible for Sulla’s “Birth”/genetics, Brendon is responsible for her personality and upbringing, and Lucille helped change Sulla into the person she wanted to be.
I think Lucille is more than that. She is kind of a “birth parent” as well. She provided the materials for Sulla’s body. Without her body (especially her recent one), Sulla would never have had a chance to become the person she has.
I wouldn’t say Birth parent, because she was still “born” without Lucille’s interference. She helped Sulla transition, but didn’t have a hand in her “conception” or “birth”. That was all Al and Brennan.
Oh, fascinating!
Also, her lipstick is excellent.
I know right? I’m pretty impressed Al picked up on it and even more that he is brave enough to ask her. I also agree that her lipstick is exquisite.
It’s not that Lucille feels has a right to be involved because she is somehow a parent to Sulla. She was Brendan’s bestie, they both have an interest in robotics, they always shared stuff like that before, yet now he’s treating her like just an account manager and ordering things from her company. So she knew something big was going on but he kept it a secret. A secret daughter. That stings. I bet she’d have liked to act as an auntie – she could have taught Sulla a lot, she’s very cool. And Brendan was keeping it a secret because he knew how creepy it would sound if he said “I’m trying to bring my dead boyfriend back to life. I’ve got a copy of his brain here, look!” He was ashamed.
Everyone is coming down on Lucille for feeling entitled, but I think she actually has a good point here. It’s not that Brendan just kept his life private. It’s that he was close friends with her and asked her for help with creating Sulla without bothering to share with her the joy that came from it. Sure, it was him and Al who made the young lady’s brain, but Lucille was the one who really was behind her body. Without that body, Sulla would not have been able to become who she is. I can totally see way Lucille is angry and grieves over this.
I think maybe Lucille and Brendan were besties a long time ago, but there’s been some friction between them (“You may not speak to me that way, Brendan”) that I don’t think Brendan’s ever really made up for. This might be the latest of a long line of on-and-off-screen hurts Brendan has done her.
She was behind the hair and skin, but that’s no different than helping someone transition. Sulla was born and very much alive before Lucille was brought in, so she didn’t exactly have a hand in “creating” her. Just helped her transition.
Its like a plastic surgeon. Sure, they’re *technically* responsible for your eye or nose shape, but they’re not responsible for the features you were actually born with.
“She was behind the hair and skin, but that’s no different than helping someone transition. ”
Actually, it is. While the parallels are here (and for good reason), this is actually a different situation. Sulla would not have developed the same way if she had been stuck in a metal clunky body. She has human brainwaves/programming, but was initially stuck as a machine. Lucille’s product enabled her to become *human*. I do not negate the importance of transition of a body to match gender, but transitioning from a simple metal machine to a *human* (or human-like) body that could feel and fit in and operate in a way that allowed Sulla’s brain to continue to develop as a human person probably was the most important change. Keep in mind that Sulla is not just a typical AI. She is really human. She joined a friend group, was accepted as a human person (to the point they stood by her even after they found out she was an AI), and even has the start of a human relationship going with Ty. This appears very different than other AI’s in this universe (so far).
And even though she initially had a misgendered body, Sulla would not probably be half as well-adjusted as she is if Lucille didn’t agree to give Brendan the highly advanced and experimental parts (with no questions asked, because she is a friend) to begin with. The fact they were used to *create* a living, thinking, feeling *person* (not just change them) has to feel violating to Lucille. I would liken it more to someone asking for sperm or eggs (with the idea they were just using them for science experiments), but then they make a living baby from them instead.
Sure, the materials were man-made versus directly from her body, but they were still creations of Lucille’s mind—and they were used to create a *being*—who she had no knowledge of or access to even though she probably would have been a very positive force in Sulla’s life and found joy in being there. The only reason Brendan had access to those body parts was Lucille’s generosity, and he kept the child he created from them a secret from her. I can see why she feels betrayed.
She knew Brendan developed AIs and that hair and skin were needed for them. In a way, she develops AI cosmetics. That is different from making a “baby” with someone unknowingly. They’ve worked together before.
Also, since this is Al’s story, it seems a bit off to make -Lucille- the “birth” mother/parent when the start always seemed to be pushing Al towards the title and the position of “someone made your child without your permission.”.
Also, think of it this way: If what you say is true, if Lucille makes AL’s new body and is responsible for the entire body, would that make her Al’s birth mother as well?
Also, anyone else think it’s amazing how Lucille immediately picked up and respects Sulla’s (and Al’s) personhood?
Finding out your sometimes friend and sometimes business collaborator has been keeping their child secret from you (or at least actively lying to you about her for… did the audience ever get a non-lie reason for that? I honestly don’t remember it being directly addressed when Brendan wasn’t actively lying to Lucille about it) is a bit of a bombshell. Maybe Lucille (and be extension me) *is* being unfair, but you want to be a part of your friends’ lives, you know?
Brendan had priorities, and Lucille wasn’t one of them. I don’t think that’s necessarily a damnable thing, it just happens sometimes, especially upon becoming a parent.
Except he specifically asked for Lucille *help* with his priorities. He didn’t just exclude Sulla from her either. He actively lied about her. He claimed she was a foster/adopted child in the retro story and never let them meet. I remember we all didn’t trust Lucille (even thinking she may had been behind Al’s rebirth), and perhaps that was done with the purpose for us to share Al’s perspective. However, seeing how she’s taken the three of them in and treated everyone after Brendan came clean with her makes it hard not to sympathize with her.
Then there’s the past… Considering Brendan got the equipment to make Sulla’s body and hair from Lucille (which was *very* essential for Sulla becoming a well-adjusted person—versus a miserable/confused robot with human brain patterns), that is a big thing to hide. The fact they were dear to each other before they worked together and had become business partners adds another facet to it. Then there’s the unfortunate fact Lucille could have been a wonderful person to include in Sulla’s life—especially as Sulla turned out to be female.
The final thing to consider is the fact Lucille even admits her feelings of anger may not be fair. She does not want to be angry at Brendan, but look at her actions? She’s being a good person to him and his family—including Al. At the same time, she’s being honest even though she easily could spin it as Al imagining things. Sometimes we cannot help how we feel—even when the feelings are negative. We don’t have to act on them, but it is good to acknowledge them and talk about them—especially if someone trustworthy.
Holy cow, I’d never thought about the whole ‘robot with human brainwaves’ thing. That’s striking! And makes it seem like no wonder that Little-Proto-Sulla pretty much never talked.
I wonder if some of her ambivalence during the first couple of changes in childhood was her assuming that this was as good as it was going to get when it comes to the alignment between her neurology and her body.
Exactly! Can you imagine how differently she would have become (if she had even wanted to continue existing) if she had remained in a body like that for her whole life? I think she easily could have ended up becoming someone that was either very sad or terrifying.
I don’t necessarily think Brendan didn’t trust Lucille so much as Brendan didn’t even trust himself
He didn’t trust in his own actions or in their propriety so he felt he had to hide them
I think you’re on to something. It think he was processing a lot—including his grief after losing Al. Dude probably needed (and possibly still could use) some serious therapy… However, his issues may have passed well beyond any therapist’s pay range (this kind of thing is often discussed on Steven Universe Future groups).
That’s a good angle that I hadn’t really considered.
I’m *really* hoping this isn’t going the route of “Lucille gets accepted as Sulla’s mother and Al just gets to be another parent”.
I’ve been rooting for Al to become the person Al was meant to be and for the “Mother’s Day” note to be for him, not Lucille. It just seems more meaningful to me.
I know its not my story and its ultimately up to the author, but those are just my thoughts.
I sorta agree with that. Mostly because O Human Star started off as Al’s journey in life and not Lucille’s. It seems a bit sudden to make her the true “mom” in the last chapter instead of Al.
I don’t think it is going to be that. I do think she regrets not getting to be part of Sulla’s life, but it doesn’t mean she feels entitled to co-parenting her. I get more the vibe that she will become another family member (like a very close, dear aunt) and the catalyst that help Al and Brendan heal—which will be ironic given Al was initially jealous of her. I also think she may also get Al to open up and not feel so much shame and guilt for everything (Brendan, his death, the upcoming transition). That’s just the vibe I’m getting.
I still don’t see her as any sort of “parent”, technical or otherwise, in the case or Sulla. If that were true, knowing what we do now, that would mean she’d be a technical parent to Al as well.
Not really. Al already existed before—and he had a body before he died (and was later randomly given one). Sulla’s mind and body were both created. She had no prior existence and did not get to choose her first bodies. Even though those “human” bodies were not the correct gender, she’d never get to interact with other people as a human if she had not had them. She would have been a human thought pattern stuck in a mechanical unfeeling body. Al, on the other hand, is choosing to have his body. He’s also showing appreciation and trust to Lucille in a way that Brendan perhaps should have.
Sulla was 6 years old before her first body. She was already drawing, making toys for herself, asking Brendan to read her stories, ect. She was very much a developed child before Lucille ever had a hand in things.
Something that hits me about this part of the story is the importance of opening up to other people. It is very hard when you come from a situation most people aren’t going to understand and if you have been repeatedly betrayed by people closest to you—especially from early childhood.
However, I think one of the most important things a trauma survivor can learn during healing is to relearn to trust and how to open up so we can actually have families—even if they are not traditional ones.
Even the most introverted of us have the “programming” to connect with other human beings. It’s part of why we are so successful as a species. There’s been a few studies, too, that show close contact with others is actually a bigger key to longevity and a good quality of life than exercise or nutrition (though the last two are very important things as well).