Page 16. These expressions took a while to get right.
This is a scene I wish I was able to work through a bit more quickly, but between moving to a new place and working on material for a new project, I can’t move much faster this month. With only $38 to go before we hit twice-weekly updates, I hope I’ll be able to pick up the pace in July!
!!! (distressed noises) !!!
Also I so wish I had the money spare to do Patreon, I really do.
Brendan wants a pissing contest BAD… too bad it feels like the wrongest time for one.
Al!! No!! Cease!! Desist!!
Man, does his advice to Sulla sting in retrospect…
On a related note, now I wonder what exactly Al had to go through to learn what to be like with “them”…
I don’t know who is talking in panel 4.
It’s still Brendan on his tirade. Al lets others belittle Brendan’s work, even though he does the majority of the stuff in their partnership now. He basically feels like Al is just taking advantage of him, intellectually and romantically.
*starts sobbing quietly* Al no :( In all the ways! (cause he looks like he’s about to collapse…)
Is this the argument Al references in Chapter 1???
I can see this fight happening, folks. Remember the year this chapter is in now. Times have changed a lot in ten years. It used to be really important to appear straight, especially when dealing with the military and other authority figures. Us oldsters remember this all too well. Older guys were closeted through years of necessity and the younger guys were pushing to just “be”. Poor Al. Poor Brendan.
Noooooo, oh no, oh nooooo…….. it was worth the effort, their expressions are heartwrenchingly spot-on. :(
This… is a very real conversation. This is a real conversation that is very likely happening as I type this.
After what happened in Orlando, there are people that are going to be very, very wary of being open about this sort of thing and… well. 103 people will tell you that it’s justified. It’s a careful, strategic, and calculated choice to express your affection. The “checklist” of appropriateness becomes much larger and much more stringent. The stakes are much higher, and the consequences can be… well, deadly.
I understand where both of them are coming from, on a personal level, but Al’s is the argument I see the most tragedy in. The time Al is afraid of isn’t a bygone era. The time he’s wary of was yesterday, and today, and very likely tomorrow.
Being open about a relationship, let alone being gay, came with very harsh risks. Losing friends, family, your home, or even your life. So while I do admit to having prejudices against closet-cases, there’s no doubting the danger in coming out.
But when you’re involved with someone, it’s not just about you anymore. There’s a level of compromise that needs to take place, meeting half way. Al and Brendan aren’t great at that, but there’s no denying that Brendan’s been pulling double duty in both business and relationship departments.
Al has good reasons for not being open, but fewer for not at least defending the person who’s been such a huge asset to him. Unfortunately, I don’t think Brendan has tried as hard as he could’ve to really understand why this has been so difficult for Al, but he’s right in that it’s all come to bite them both in the ass.
This is a very realistic and painful thing to see, but it’s been done very well.
Okay, here is where Brendan’s actual problem is, finally. And yeah, I see how this would make him feel awful, and this has obviously been upsetting him. And while I don’t judge Al for not coming out, I do think if he has been letting people make assumptions about Brendan and not defending him, that’s pretty crappy of him despite it coming from his paranoia of being outed.
I understand Brendan’s desire to be publically acknowledged and his dislike of being someone’s dirty little secret. It must suck to be in a romantic relationship and never have it made clear in front of other people how important you are.
But I also very strongly understand and empathize with Al’s caution, his fear or coming out, and his desire to have this part of his life stay hidden. Even without what happened at Orlando and countless other places hanging over this conversation, without the fear of murder, bullying, harassment, assault, and vandalization that is a reality for openly gay people, there’s what could happen to your career as well: he’s right. Brendan has been lucky, but being openly gay can lose you your job, opportunities, the respect and goodwill of the people you want to work with. His position is valid.
When Al says ‘be smart’ I think he’s parroting his uncle and aunt. He mentioned a while ago he did something ‘stupid’ when he was young and it almost ruined everything for him, but his uncle told him he had to make other people respect him and that’s all he needed. I think he had a relationship or exposed himself as being into dudes when he was younger and it ended up causing him a significant amount of pain and those experiences put him firmly in the closet, as well as causing him enough depression to turn to self harm.
Also, I think Brendan had a better support group and most likely has been to safe spaces like clubs. To Al, being attracted to other men hasn’t brought with it anything good: never was part of the community, maybe never met anyone else who was gay or bi in his youth to talk to, never felt anything uplifting about it. It’s always been something to be hidden away or else it would destroy him. Part of this is the age gap, but honestly even today this is a mindset and an issue for younger lgbt people. It’s a totally valid and understandable choice to stay closeted, given the often deadly consequences of being out.
Compromise would be nice, but this is an issue neither of them seem interested in middle-roading, and I’m not sure how you would to begin with. Brendan would honestly be better off finding someone else at this point in the relationship, and so would Al. Too bad we know what happens after this.
I’m interested to see how this pans out in the present, given that neither of them have changed their mindset on it. I’d like to see Brendan be more understanding of people who choose to not be out, for self preservation, discomfort, or any other reason, and I hope that Al can accept himself and be more open publically. I mean, he already ‘died’, technically, so maybe he’ll feel like there’s less to lose now.
I dig this entire comment. [thumbs up]
>Fallingivy
I approve of this comment. Based on attitudes, Brendan and Al had vastly different life experiences when it comes to being homosexual. It seems like Brendan has had little to no issues, name calling being the worst while something terrible happened to Al.
Age is a major factor here. If I remember right, Al is over 12 years older, isn’t he? He’s had the time to deal with a lot and see things for himself.
I can understand Brendan, but one thing I have to say is that he’s a veey short-sighted person. I don’t think he really is aware of other people’s problems unless they’re pushed into his face.
no comment.
:-).
i was very happy when you portrayed actual Fire in brendan’s eyes, delliquanti — the whole Taking Off His Glasses act, to furtherly emphasize, He Was Not Joking Around.
Oh my god, Brendan’s face in the last panel broke my heart.
Me too. Broke my heart.
Real issues, real people. Amazing, thank you Blue!!
this dialogue is so good. T___T
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I made a slight update to the page file but forgot to clean the cache. It should be displaying now.
They say that love means never having to say you’re sorry. And of course that’s a dumb aphorism and I don’t know how it ever got started, but it is true that it’s easier to risk disappointing someone who will probably forgive you on the basis of your close personal relationship than to risk disappointing someone who would be just fine cutting what few ties they have with you.